Intensives are an accelerated form of therapy. The therapeutic work is “accelerated” because you are securing the focused work of therapy for extended sessions in a two – three day format. Instead of a week’s worth of time between sessions, as in traditional therapy, intensives include shorter breaks between therapeutic segments over the course of the day. This, in theory, allows for therapeutic gains to come quicker due to the shortened time between therapeutic experiences.
There are many reasons a couple would find an intensive beneficial. Intensives are a practical way to access needed change in your relationship. Perhaps there is a lot of distress or the relationship is on the verge of ending and an intensive can help bring some stability or clarity on how to move the relationship forward when there isn’t the opportunity to dedicate months, or years, to traditional couples therapy.
I have never been afraid of the intensity of couples counseling. I am invigorated and excited by it. Often, when meeting with a new couple for traditional therapy, I am told by them “I hope you’re ready for us, we’re a tough case” and I light up inside! I enjoy the challenge and delight in the successes we can create together. There are two reasons for this. I have always, since adolescence, been fascinated with relationships. This passion for safe, healthy connection hasn’t ever faded. Also, I trust the EFT model and its ability to move couples from distress to security in a real, lasting way. I’m just as passionate about EFT as I am about relationships.
The workshops (Created for Connection or Hold Me Tight) are, what I would call, “light intensives.” They are intense because you are dedicating two full days, blocking out all other distractions, or parts of life, to focus on your relationship. They are “lighter” because you are doing that with other couples present in the workshop. Though the workshop benefits each couple, it is not tailored to each couple as with a therapeutic intensive.
Another important difference is that the workshops are psychoeducational in nature, rather than therapeutic. This means that the focus is mostly on teaching concepts, with some dedicated time to practice together with your partner. An intensive is extended therapy time, which is greater “practice” and less psychoeducation, or teaching.
Though offering intensives has been a goal of mine for some time, it wasn’t until I
listened to the podcast linked here (YouTube video also provided) that the decision was solidified. The speakers address both therapists and couples and give important considerations. Namely, they describe the therapist as one that has the capacity to engage with people deeply for longer stretches of time, creating a safe connection with the couple. It might give you a better sense of what to expect and, also, what to ask yourself and the therapist before booking an intensive.